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Meta
Category Archives: Life Before
Therapy, Redux
A year ago today, I went back to therapy; the last time I’d been in therapy in a sustained way was 1996 to 1998. Early in 2020, I heard about the upcoming publication of a book I thought might be … Continue reading
Posted in Life Before
Comments Off on Therapy, Redux
The Body and My Body
If asked to guess what holiday is hardest for me, I don’t think Independence Day would top most people’s lists – but it is. Maybe when I say that, though, it comes into focus – really, you couldn’t design a … Continue reading
Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS
Tagged agnosticism, body strings, camp, campsickness, Christmas, Easter, faith, holidays, hugs, Independence Day, life before, music, St. George's
15 Comments
Hindsight
Living with a disease of unknown etiology is, let’s say, problematic. The lack of a well-defined cause stymies efforts toward a cure, and opens up a gaping void that gets filled, at best, with wide-ranging science, but more prosaically with … Continue reading
Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS
Tagged acne, ADD, ankylosing spondylitis, antibiotics, anxiety, childhood, Chimp, cognitive dysfunction, crash, Dad, diagnosis, disability, etiology, history, PCOS, regret, vertigo, work
15 Comments
Prandial Problems
I hated my mother’s bunny jello mold. She bought it before my brother or I were born, thinking that when she had kids, it would be fun to make them bunny-shaped jello. And it probably would have been, for most … Continue reading
Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS, Uncategorized
Tagged beef, bunny, chicken, childhood, Chimp, Dad, fish, food, histamine, jello, lamb, meat, Mom, sleep, vegetarianism, Wahls protocol
33 Comments
Losing My Voice
A conversation at our house recently: “So when you think of things that the illness has cost me, things that were a big part of my identity, things that I loved to do, what’s the first thing that comes to … Continue reading
Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS
Tagged childhood, Chimp, history, Mom, music, performance, singing, stress, symptoms
22 Comments
New Bottle Paranoia Syndrome
One of the things that consistently makes life more exciting around here is my case of New Bottle Paranoia Syndrome. My present state of NBPS has reached its current form because of a long series of unhelpful surprises my body has … Continue reading
Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS, Uncategorized
Tagged ADD, anxiety, depression, freakshow, meds, Mom, panic attacks, Prozac, Ritalin, side effects
23 Comments
And So This is Christmas
Warning: This video contains a lot of disturbing imagery. I know I’m late with this post. Would you believe that trying to have Christmas with the tiny store of energy ME/CFS allows me caused me to run late on writing … Continue reading
Gratitude
One of the more difficult things to deal with about being this ill is the feeling of uselessness imposed by my physical limits. Even as long as I’ve been ill, I’ve never quite gotten over the guilt of not being … Continue reading
Posted in Chimp, Life Before, ME/CFS
Tagged anniversary, arthritis, Chimp, crash, fairness, gratitude, love, Mom, wedding, work
23 Comments
My Secret Identity
An old friend who is a serious comic book collector flattered me recently by likening me to the character Oracle. For those of you, like me, who aren’t intimately familiar with the DC universe, Oracle is the nom de guerre of … Continue reading
Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS
Tagged career, creeping, nostalgia, Oracle, reunion, school, secret identity
113 Comments
One Foot in Front of The Other
I was once a runner. I wasn’t always. I took it up after I left NYU in 1995. I’d been teaching myself to cook at college, and turning out to be unfortunately, deliciously good at it, so the second half of … Continue reading
Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS
Tagged Chimp, diet, exercise, nature, running, treadmill, walking, WFM, wildflowers
30 Comments