Category Archives: Life Before

The Body and My Body

Posted on July 21, 2014 by Jocelyn

If asked to guess what holiday is hardest for me, I don’t think Independence Day would top most people’s lists – but it is. Maybe when I say that, though, it comes into focus – really, you couldn’t design a … Continue reading →

Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Hindsight

Posted on February 28, 2014 by Jocelyn

Living with a disease of unknown etiology is, let’s say, problematic. The lack of a well-defined cause stymies efforts toward a cure, and opens up a gaping void that gets filled, at best, with wide-ranging science, but more prosaically with … Continue reading →

Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Prandial Problems

Posted on November 5, 2013 by Jocelyn

I hated my mother’s bunny jello mold. She bought it before my brother or I were born, thinking that when she had kids, it would be fun to make them bunny-shaped jello. And it probably would have been, for most … Continue reading →

Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Losing My Voice

Posted on March 28, 2013 by Jocelyn

A conversation at our house recently: “So when you think of things that the illness has cost me, things that were a big part of my identity, things that I loved to do, what’s the first thing that comes to … Continue reading →

Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

New Bottle Paranoia Syndrome

Posted on January 31, 2013 by Jocelyn

One of the things that consistently makes life more exciting around here is my case of New Bottle Paranoia Syndrome. My present state of NBPS has reached its current form because of a long series of unhelpful surprises my body has … Continue reading →

Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

And So This is Christmas

Posted on December 30, 2012 by Jocelyn

Warning: This video contains a lot of disturbing imagery.  I know I’m late with this post. Would you believe that trying to have Christmas with the tiny store of energy ME/CFS allows me caused me to run late on writing … Continue reading →

Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Gratitude

Posted on October 21, 2012 by Jocelyn

One of the more difficult things to deal with about being this ill is the feeling of uselessness imposed by my physical limits. Even as long as I’ve been ill, I’ve never quite gotten over the guilt of not being … Continue reading →

Posted in Chimp, Life Before, ME/CFS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

My Secret Identity

Posted on September 2, 2012 by Jocelyn

An old friend who is a serious comic book collector flattered me recently by likening me to the character Oracle. For those of you, like me, who aren’t intimately familiar with the DC universe, Oracle is the nom de guerre of … Continue reading →

Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS | Tagged , , , , , , | 113 Comments

One Foot in Front of The Other

Posted on July 22, 2012 by Jocelyn

I was once a runner. I wasn’t always. I took it up after I left NYU in 1995. I’d been teaching myself to cook at college, and turning out to be unfortunately, deliciously good at it, so the second half of … Continue reading →

Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Losing My Edge

Posted on June 30, 2012 by Jocelyn

(Lyrics here.) One day about three years into my illness, when I was still well enough to be working but sick enough to be doing so from home, I met my departing boss – let’s call him Brad – for … Continue reading →

Posted in Life Before, ME/CFS | Tagged , , , , , , | 32 Comments